Same Same but Different...
It’s a common refrain among any group growing up, but especially in the entrepreneurial driven mind. “Once I get that I’ll be set” or “I’ll only have to struggle until I accomplish this andthen things will be different.” And yes, it is true. As you mature, develop your business and reach milestones things do change. But I’ll tell you from experience that change doesn’t necessarily mean a casting aside of challenges and it doesn’t mean the “Grind” is ended.
Take my experience in freelance film making, for example. When I worked at a news station I thought “Maybe once I shoot sports or learn to TD I’ll be more set up for success.” I did all that and, while it gave me more skills and more hours, I was still grinding to pay rent. So I jumped to a full time gig logging footage and helping with scripting for a reality tv company. More money, yes. More hours, yes. Reputable company, yes. Chances to advance at least in some direction, check. But something was still missing. It wasn’t filling creative desires and the chances to advance in the vein of production I wanted (in my case, field camera positions) weren’t there. So, off again I went, this time to a new state and a new vein of production, in hopes of finding a home in live and commercial action sports video. And for a while it was great. I got to do some cool things, go some really cool places, live in a gorgeous mountain setting and scratch some creative itches. But again it came down to money (for various reasons and because of certain people there was none) and to a lack of advancement opportunity. Again, my “If only I do this and move here then…” scenario had resulted in a new set of challenges and the perpetuation of “The Grind.”
So, again, it was a move and a change in field, hoping a fresh setting and a new network would result in the end of this brutal process. Ironically enough, after a couple other steps (missteps or exploratory depending on your point of view), this found me back in the production vein I left Montana to get away from - Reality TV. It felt a bit like a step back. And I’ll be honest, I fell into the feeling that I was a failure for a while. But as things clicked a bit I realized it was also an opportunity and another step toward dreams of working and living behind the camera.
For a while it was a real grind. “What am I doing with my life?” was a common refrain. But I kept to it, driven on by the familiar refrain of “If only I do this, then…” I told myself that if I made AC I would feel some success. HA! How naiive I was. Because once I hit AC I realized it wasn’t creatively fulfilling. So I pushed towards Cam Op. Don’t get me wrong, things most certain improved after that brutal first year. Gigs felt more fulfilling, came more consistently and allowed me to actually put gas in my car. But I was still miffed that a good year could be followed by a slow one (still much better than in MT, CO and the first year in SLC, but slow nonetheless). I was also discouraged that I still felt creatively in a rut. I had worked my way up. These problems, this grind were supposed to be done now right? When will it end?! Ok, maybe if I transition into commercial or features or set based TV? Or specialize in drones or steadicam work? Maybe then I won’t feel like…? Won’t have to…?
But as in many other facets of life it has to be about the journey and not the finish line. The grind will always be there. That’s part of the mind of entrepreneur. We strive for more always. And when we advance there’s always another peak to summit. This can feel like a major grind. But you can’t forget about the journey you’ve come through already. Appreciate where you’ve come from and what you’ve done before you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by what’s ahead. I’m still grinding, but it’s always a new grind. And I’m learning to be content with this and even embrace it.
- GALEN MURRAY -
VISUAL VAGABONDS Owner/DP
