Distraction and Me Time
As a freelance filmmaker, and business owner I accept a certain amount of being at the beck and call of my phone. Those of you who rely on getting “the call” for that next gig know what I’m talking about. In the gig economy a missed call or delayed email response can mean the difference between getting the work that furthers your career, gets you in the door and/or just pays the rent, OR, just getting that dreaded response saying that “sorry we fully booked our crew already, but we’ll be sure to add you to our list for the next one!” Oof. That hurts.
It’s a helpless feeling contemplating how long you can walk away from your phone and/or computer before you risk missing something vital. Most of the time the only notification you get is that Bill from high school posted another baby pic or that your uncle you’ve met twice sent you something political and slightly cringy and uncomfortable. But WHAT IF this is the big one and you miss it?! What if that dream job came a-callin’ and you weren’t quick enough to answer and, as a result, they gave it to someone who cared a little bit more, who was a little bit more attached to their phone?!
Honestly it becomes an addiction. I find myself obsessively checking and rechecking staffing websites, facebook groups and seeing for the umteenth time if any of the inquiry emails I sent out got a response, or just staring hopelessly at a blank search bar trying, willing myself, to think of that missing thing I’m not doing that could propel me into the peripheral of the “right people” to get me in that magical door and drum up more business for me and for my company. And owning a business has made that pressure and that addiction that much worse. Now I feel the added weight of trying to organize and plan for new gear, new ways to inventory the equipment room and keep up with how I might be able to help my business partners. All of this is compounded by restlessness and some level of ADD that has me impulsively following rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Because at the end of the day I’m in this industry because I’m a nerd and love the toys and techniques so I’m going to want to see what other stuff is out there!
Now, maybe the worst part is that I’m fully and painfully aware of this. And I can feel the friends, girlfriend, family and co-creators around me unnerved by how much I jump at every little thing I think will help me claw just that little bit further ahead. And I want to take the time to be there in all of their lives too because I know it helps me and I want to be a normal social human being every once in a while.
I saw a meme the other day that said “STRESSLAXING: Being stressed that relaxing makes you more stressed because you’re not working on what’s making you stressed.” I’ve never felt more seen in my life. I’m an addict and slave to the thing (the phone) that I rely on as a way, sometimes it feels like THE WAY, to push forward in my career, survive and thrive.
The easy answer, I suppose, is to “schedule my life,” to carve out time to myself, “Me Time.” And I try. I love to spend time climbing and in the gym, but calls don’t respect gym time and as much as I’d love to be in the gym at 5am every day before the calls start coming, sleep is important too. I’ve been trying to squeeze in movie nights, date nights, back porch nights with friends. Times when I can fully disconnect. But that Stresslaxing always comes creeping back in. We know as creatives and entrepreneurs that 9-5 isn’t always a reality. As much as the podcasters out there want to convince you, the freedom of owning your own business comes far down the line AFTER you’ve put in the time.
And on top of it all, I LOVE what I do, as I’m sure most of you do too. It’s my livelihood, sure, but it’s also my passion. I jump at calls because I feel like I need to to stay on top of the game, but also because I hope beyond hope that it’s a call for that adventure of a shoot I crave.
But I do very much recognize the importance of carving out time to myself and time with my friends and loved ones. I say a lot in my writing that “Creativity isn’t a solo sport” and I think this is a perfect example. My mental and physical health improve and my mood stabilizes when I have un-interrupted “Me Time.” I still need to balance that with being productive and remaining available. That’s the nature of the industry I’ve chosen. But I do understand how much I need to focus on the things that boost my health and sanity. And I also have to balance it with making sure I find work, because the only thing worse than a Galen running on low or no “Me Time” is a Galen who hasn’t worked in a while.
As many of my articles do, this one won’t end in a black and white solution. But I believe one of the most important things we can do is to continue to voice our concerns and struggles and open a dialogue about how we can move towards remedying them. I HATE that I have to rely on my phone and the more I move towards not having to be attached to it to find and promote work, the better I feel. But for now it’s something I have to manage daily.
Do you have any methods or strategies you use to deal with this problem? I’d love to hear them and share them with the community! We grow stronger and more creative together. That’s why I keep writing here and that’s why I feel like it’s so important to share the ups and the downs in my creative journey.
Galen Murray
Owner of Visual Vagabonds and Freelance Camera Operator
