What's My Age Again?

What age was “Adult” to you in junior high or high school? And what did it look like? If you’re anything like me, I’m sure that age has passed and many of those pictures of what “Adulthood” would be have poofed out of existence like a thought cloud over a cartoon character’s head.

So, for me, I had a very clear picture when I was young of what “Growing Up” might look like. It involved finding a girl and a dog by 20, married by 25 or so, maybe a house and a kid not too long after that. And well on my way up the ladder of my job at a great company while all that was going on.

And here I am at 28 with none of those things. What I’ve realized too is that as those pictures poof away so do your ideas and benchmarks of how you’re supposed to act and be when you hit those ages you had mapped out for yourself. Ok, so things aren’t what I thought they would be, so what IS my life supposed to look like at 28, 29, 30?

I’ll tell you right now I don’t feel “Old.” Sure I have bills, but I’ve had student loans and rent since college and earlier. Sure I’m dealing with injuries, but I’ve had a bad back and knee issues since high school. And my tastes haven’t changed much. I’m sitting listening to Blink-182 as I write this.

So again, how am I supposed to feel and act? I see old friends getting “Grown Up Jobs”, having kids, having 2nd kids, buying houses. I’ve seen exes get married. I feel like a bit of an oddball, but I don’t want that yet, and, quite honestly, don’t know if I want a lot of it at all. Does that make me the odd man out? Abnormal? A Rebel? Or have my circumstances just set me back on my “Growing Up” progress?

What I have to remind myself of is that I’ve also made some very “Grown Up” decisions, that, for better or worse, have set me on my path and put me where I am now. Also, I’m not my friends, my exes, my parents, or anyone else. I’m me. And the most grown up thing I can do is build a life I’m proud of, whether that means with a wife, kids, dog and white picket fence or chasing something else alone.

My pictures of what I should look like by now have come and gone and morphed along the way, but I have grown up in a lot of ways and have a lot I’m proud of. We all grow up. But we also all grow up in different ways. I may not feel different and very well may feel stuck at times, but I’ve come a long way and there’s a lot more “Growing Up” to come.

- GALEN MURRAY -

VISUAL VAGABONDS Owner/DP