Getting Sucked Into Your Own Black Hole

The problem with being self driven, a self starter or whatever else you want to call this particular personality type is that you can very easily create your own black hole, your own climate, if you will. A climate that can become all encompassing and totally obscure what’s actually going on outside said climate bubble. And this climate can feel both positive and negative.

Say you’re in a good spot. Work is great. Life is good. Everything is golden. This bubble can obscure or block entirely challenges and down times lurking directly ahead. And, speaking from experience, this can cause a drastic change in climate when that challenge does hit. Which, in turn, can cause a distrust for any positive thing that comes along. Pretty soon that changing climate becomes more of a black hole of doubt and uncertainty. Every positive feeling is sucked up by the memory that so many others have obscured the view of upcoming hurdles that could be avoided.

I find myself in this new uncertain climate often and, quite honestly, I don’t quite know how to handle it. I find myself balancing the old sports saying that the greatest players have short memories on the one hand, while understanding that planning is an important key to success on the other. They shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, but they do manage to battle quite often in my head.

I’m decidedly calm on the surface, but my penchant to overthink everything and dwell on past decisions creates a full on hurricane in my fragile black hole of a climate when faced with that balancing act.

A frustrating aspect of all this is that somehow this battle can be completely detached from visible success at times. Sure, a major shift in mood will eventually result in a drop off in performance and will damage relationships. But the more pressing concern is how to avoid this decidedly destructive mindset in an effort to find some sense of overall “Happiness,” whatever that means.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that with continued success, my focus has shifted more to finding a balanced climate. It’s a constant battle, one that will take many more cycles to start to figure out.

- GALEN MURRAY -

VISUAL VAGABONDS Owner/DP